1. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9×9 inch light metal baking pan and line it with parchment paper.

2. Add the Earl Grey tea and lavender to a food processor and pulse until finely ground. Pass through a sieve to remove large bits.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, Earl Grey tea, lavender, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

4. In a large bowl, cream together softened butter and granulated sugar with an electric mixer on high speed for 2 minutes.

5. Add in the eggs and vanilla bean paste and mix on medium speed until pale and smooth, about 1 minute.

6. Gradually add in the buttermilk and dry ingredients, mixing on low speed until combined and batter is smooth. Scrape the bowl as needed.

7. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 38–44 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean from the center.

8. Cool the cake in the pan on a wire rack for 30 minutes, then lift out and cool completely on the rack.

9. To make the milk soak, heat the milk until steaming. Add Earl Grey tea and lavender and steep for 15 minutes. Strain and let cool.

10. Mix the steeped milk with sweetened condensed milk and vanilla bean paste. Set aside.

11. For the frosting, pulse lavender in a food processor and sift out large bits.

12. In a large bowl, beat butter until pale and fluffy, about 5 minutes.

13. Add cream cheese and beat until fluffy, about 1 minute.

14. Sift in powdered sugar, add vanilla and lavender, and mix on low to combine. Then beat on high for 1 minute until fluffy. Add food coloring if using.

15. Trim a thin layer off the top of the cooled cake. Place on a serving plate and poke holes across the surface.

16. Slowly pour the Earl Grey milk soak over the cake, allowing it to absorb.

17. Frost the cake with a thick layer of cream cheese frosting using an offset spatula.

18. Cut into 16 slices and serve.